Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Randomize
