i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
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im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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