I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
