when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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