i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
