my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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