I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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