i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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