We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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