Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
