You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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