if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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