Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
