My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
