haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I didn't notice because vodka
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize