A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
