apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
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Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
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He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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