Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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