dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
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