That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
how do flat chested girls get laid?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
