all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
