Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
