So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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