So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
