I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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