You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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