p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
