Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Come share oat with me in your robe
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
