Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
