Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
