saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
