i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The uberlube is also flammable
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Randomize
