finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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