you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
