meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
