Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
