I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
