you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
