You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
