Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
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yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
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debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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