I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
