When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
