I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
