what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
