she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
