I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
