god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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