i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
