You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Randomize
