Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
