Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
