Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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