how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
