I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
