you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
