just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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