so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
