Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
