I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
