All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
