Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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